Tuesday, October 23, 2007
How do you get a new attitude?
because I guess I need one. Worrying just won't cut it around here. It holds no purpose and will get no sympathy. How do you change who you are. Some are worriers by nature some are not. How do you change who you are? I don't feel like I was too worried ( I was not crying or freaking out), but was concerned (about everything) but my loving husband feels like I was extreme. I didn't even get a pat on the shoulder or a hug. Isn't that what most people who worry need. Just someone to reassure and be there? He should be my rock but, a little kindness would have gone along way. To feel like my husband is there for me would have helped put my mind at ease. Not to feel like my concern/ worry was pissing off my husband. So even if I felt like I wanted to cry, I could not. Even if he doesn't get it, just like I don't his totally not worried about anything attitude, he could still be supportive.
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I wish I had an answer for you. I don't know how I've managed to stop worrying as much as I used to. I felt pretty Zen during the whole mom situation. Although I was taking Xanax most afternoons (I've stopped since). If it takes medication, DO IT. You're going through heavy stuff. Also, having gone through counseling definitely helped. Maybe couples counseling would be a good idea also, though I doubt Chris would really go for that. I think it's worth a try because you guys are definitely having some serious problems right now. I think Chris might benefit from hearing an outside opinion of his words and actions (I wish I could say something to him myself but that's just a bad idea all around).
I don't think it's proper to wish or think that you shouldn't be worrying right now. Your worry is well grounded. The problem is with your husband's attitude toward you and what you're going through. You are 100% correct when you say he should be supportive. Don't turn yourself into the bad guy here. There's probably room for compromise on both sides, but in all honesty, dear sister, your husband is being a grade-a a-hole.
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