The begining of the begining?

Hmmm... Not sure how I feel about the title but I guess that is sort of what this is... the beginning of the start of my journey to healthy. It has all come to a head today as I have found out that my loving husband of 11 years whom I have known for 20 years has told me in not so many words that he is no longer attracted to me. Who can blame him, I am 231 pounds of blahhhhh. I wouldn't be attracted to me either if I was a man. If he met me today he wouldn't date me I am sure. I feel as sorry for him as I do for myself. Who wants to come home and go to bed with a person they are not even attracted to? ewwww. I know that "they" say you have to do it for yourself, but sometimes it takes someone else to help you realize how bad things really are. I have always had the reverse of body dysmorphic disorder, I think I look "ok" even when I am sure others are thinking "she is getting huge". We had family pictures taken and I cried when I saw them, it was terrible, I felt like I could have been photographed better, but that was just an excuse for being huge and looking huge in the photos. So I decided that that picture was going to be my "before" picture, and next Christmas would be a "during" picture and the one after that would be my "after" picture. I am not fooling myself, this is going to take awhile, and slow and steady wins the race. I want to be healthy not skinny. I have to lose around 80 pounds. I have already lost about 8 but I need to lose 80 MORE. I know that since I started going to the gym two months ago that I have gotten stronger and my endurance is better but I am not seeing the weight loss that I expected, but I have not changed my eating habits either, so I guess that is my next change. So here we go....my journey to healthy....